the end is in sight

It has been a crazy few weeks. Some weird blood test results have had my doctors scrambling. Luckily the visit to the oncologist found nothing. I was scared, but it worked out ok so far.

In other news, my husband has decided to take a road trip. He is "off to discover where he wants to go." His arrogance is sickening. He is playing God with everyone around him. He can't handle the responsibility and chaos at his office and I feel he would rather run away than risk failure. I still love him, but his coldness and distance is making it much easier to accept that he will soon be gone.

I don't need to wait on him. I know how this will end. It saddens me. But he has convinced himself this is all my fault. He has forgotten about all the promises he has made me that he has not fulfilled. The promise of in sickness or in health, the promise to love me and the promise he would always be there.

When he leaves for his road trip, some things around here are changing as well. I am joining a yoga class. I am redecorating the house. If and when he comes back, I will be changed even more.

He is looking for something in others that he should be looking for in himself. I have said a prayer for him and for me. From now forward, I must protect my heart.